Just the Two of Us?: Will Smith's Pathetic Valentine
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Jack Nicholson, Charlie Sheen and Sean Penn have all cultivated and rightly earned the status of dirty rotten scoundrels in Hollywood. Not necessarily for the characters they portray on screen, but for their lack of character off screen. Between their bed-hopping, prostitute-bedding and America-hating ways, these moral reprobates have lowered the bar to new depths of depravity even for Tinsel Town.
However, when I think of the good guys, several different names come to mind. From the golden age of movies, no doubt the late Jimmy Stewart wins my heart hands down. While he was alive, his love of God, country, his wife and yes -- even the love of his dog immortalized in his poems on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson – makes Mr. Everyman one of the most decent men who has ever graced Hollyweird.
From our era, even though he’s admittedly been divorced once, Tom Hanks – by Hollywood standards anyway – is fairly angelic, sticking with his second wife Rita Wilson for 17 years now. That’s at least the equivalent to 50 years of marital bliss in Red State flyover country, don’t you think?
Enter Will Smith.
When he hit my radar screen, I remember being impressed by his willingness, as a rapper, to keep his lyrics comparatively clean. Perhaps one line from his popular 1999 “Willenium” CD defined his commitment to raise the bar: “All you rappers yellin’ ‘bout who you put in a hearse – do me a favor, write one verse without a curse.”
He easily transitioned from musician to actor in the TV sitcom hit The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air that whetted America’s appetite for even more. And now Will Smith has emerged as a feature film actor in his own right with blockbusters like Independence Day and Men in Black. All the while, Will Smith seemed to be one of the good guys, both on and off screen. Until now.
In a February 8th interview with The Daily Mail’s Richard Simpson, Smith revealed, to the surprise of many, that if either he or his second wife Jada Pinkett, a Hollywood actress in her own right, want to cheat with one of their co-stars, all they need to do is simply get the other’s permission. In other words, it’s perfectly acceptable to break the seventh commandment as long as you get your spouse’s stamp of approval. Talk about perverse logic!
“Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural,” said Smith. “You’re going to be attracted to people.” You don’t avoid what’s natural? The similarity between humans and rabbits in heat is that we both have sex drives. The difference between humans and rabbits in heat is the Creator’s challenge to humans, those made in His image, to honor the marital bed by confining our God-given sexual appetite to our chosen mate.
Listen up, Will. It’s called self-control.
When it comes to physical discipline, you get it. You’ve been pumpin’ iron three times a week and resisting the temptation to eat Krispy Kreme doughnuts for breakfast. The result? A well-honed physique that makes the women raise their eyebrows and the men turn green with envy. After all, you said, “When everybody else is tired and going home at the end of the day, I need to know that I’m the one person that’s going to the gym.”
Guess what? You can also make the call to be sexually disciplined, choosing self-control when you’re tempted to unzip your pants in your co-star’s movie trailer.
The apostle Paul challenged the sexually promiscuous in Corinth with a strong rebuke: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” (I Corinthians 6:18).
“In our marriage vows, we didn’t say ‘forsaking all others’,” said Mr. Ethically Challenged. “The vow that we made was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact.”
This makes no sense. It would be like me telling my colleagues here at KSLR Radio the following: “If you steal my personal belongings from me out of my office, that’s okay. I’ll only be upset if you don’t tell me about it before I discover something is missing.” No, the act of stealing itself is wrong, as is the act of adultery.
What I can’t figure out for the life of me is why Will Smith got married in the first place. By definition, marriage is supposed to mean the very act of “forsaking all others.” It’s right there in the first book: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.“ (Genesis 2:24)
Will’s uninspired, non-canonical version is quite different: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to any good-looking movie star or fan in addition to his wife: and they shall all be one flesh.”
Yet Smith continues to defend the indefensible. “If it came down to it, then one can say to the other, ‘Look, I need to have sex with somebody. I’m not going to if you don’t approve of it – but please approve of it’.”
Despite the fact that Will and Jada banned the phrase “forsaking all others” from their wedding ceremony, when they tied the knot in front of God and community, that’s exactly what it meant. Perhaps you’re wondering how Will arrived at this sick conclusion.
Two reasons. First, his own selfish desire to bed any co-star he finds desirable. According to The Daily Mail, Smith said he was forced to admit he had sexual feelings for other women when working on his new film Hitch, in which he stars with Eva Mendes, whom he described as “gorgeous.” And secondly, he’s sought the thoughtful marital counseling from the likes of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman as well as Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, all of whom suggest that their marriages went awry due to the secrecy of their respective affairs. So, in Hollywood’s upside down ethical world, as long as your spouse knows and approves of your intended adultery, all is well.
Mark my words. Will Smith will be divorced again. No marriage can withstand the ongoing embrace of extra-marital sexual escapades, no matter how either might attempt to rationalize their sinful ways. Eventually, it will implode. Like the battering ram of a S.W.A.T. team outside the door of a suspected drug house, in due time, the door will give way to the incessant attack and stress.
But beyond sanctioning sin in his personal life, Will’s high-profile status in America will lead some children, who admire him, to be tempted to adopt his rabbit-in-heat ethics. In case you haven’t noticed, the last thing we need is to give kids another reason to say yes to the lust of their flesh.
What happened to the man who wrote the 1998 song “Just the Two of Us” to his son? “I pledge to you I will always do everything I can, show you how to be a man. Dignity, integrity, honor and I don’t mind if you lose, long as you came with it and you can cry, ain’t no shame in it.” Mr. Smith, there’s nothing dignified or honorable about having sex with a woman who’s not your wife. Period! Not exactly the best model for your son.
Despite your claim that you “don’t let a day go past that Jada doesn’t feel like the Queen of the World,” I can guarantee you this – that when you play God and you make your own rules based on your lustful passions, Jada will not feel like a Queen, but like the neglected sexual plaything you’ve defined her to be.
God’s economy has always seemed suspect to the foolish. The last shall be first. The meek shall inherit the earth. And the man who forsakes all others and “finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord . (Proverbs 18:22)
I daresay that he who has sex with all others, even with the so-called “permission” of his wife, receives disfavor from the Lord.
TAKE A STAND ACTION STEPS:
1. If your marriage has endured infidelity or pornography, call Focus on the Family at 1-800-A-FAMILY for their booklet called Nothing to Hide: Hope for Marriages Hurt by Pornography and Infidelity by Joann Condie.
2. Whether you’re in a troubled marriage or not, get the new book by Gary Smalley entitled The DNA of Relationships which contains the lessons which have helped 93% of couples on the verge of a divorce re-establish a healthy relationship once again. Visit www.smalleymarriage.com.
3. As always, one of the best websites out there with instant Biblically-sound answers on a wide range of issues, including marriage, is http://www.troubledwith.com produced by Focus on the Family.
4. No matter how good or bad your marriage might be, you can always improve it. Register for the upcoming Family Life Conference here in San Antonio on November 4-6, 2005 at the Omni Hotel at 9821 Colonnade Blvd off I-10. Call 1-800-358-6329 or go to http://www.familylife.com. Dennis Rainey co-hosts Family Life Today heard weekday mornings on AM 630, KSLR from 9:00-9:30 a.m.
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